I am amazed at people's generous nature in

times of urgent need. It seems that people are very visual in recognizing need and emotional in responding. I hate that Hurricane Katrina is categorized as a time of "non-giving" and compassion. So many people gave their time and money to help rebuild New Orleans. Yes, sadly, the government did not respond well and in all practical purposes failed. That's why I'm so completely and utterly confused as to why people want to give more to the government and expect them to somehow save them. They've proven in many different administrations to be completely inept at providing basic services. How can they handle crisis? Or a trillion dollar health care program? I read horror stories of aid being sent over from foreign countries only to rot in boxes because they couldn't be used and distributed by the government. There are so many stories out there of the government's complete and utter incompetency-WHY?

I see such strength and resolve in the human spirit. In the AMERICAN spirit. If people gave like this on a daily basis to faith based organizations there would be no need for the government to step up. The poor could be cared for, the homeless sheltered, the hungry fed and the sick cared for.

Let's be more generous. Let's be more giving. Let's not look to the government to help those around us and those in foreign countries.

This Valentine Day

This Valentine Day I will think about the greatest love of all.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I knoww that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.

I pray this Valentine Day you find the greatest love of all. Jesus

I would like to declare

that I am officially a nerd.

Let me start with example number one....

About 2 months ago I went to a meeting at my daughter's school. It was dark when I arrived at the school so I decided to park in a lot that was closer to the door but required me to walk up a rocky incline. (See how I say, "rocky incline" so that it sounds more important?) Of course I tripped up the hill. While I was walking up the hill and tripping I also happened to be on the phone with my cousin Rose. I made some type of noise like, whooooaaaaaa, or other weird vowel and consonant combination and disconnected the phone call. Thankfully, my cousin Rose thought well enough of me to call me back...just in case I was dead or something. At this same meeting 2 months later the director announced that they were putting in extra security lighting. She proceeded to look at me and point out that the main reason was because I had tripped up the rocky incline. Thank you so much director for not only pointing that out but revealing that you had seen said travesty. So thanks to me, there will now be extra lighting in the school parking lot.

Example number two...

A little known fact about me is that I love to follow certain unsolved crimes. The latest one that has caught my attention is the Baby Gabriel story. Following up on a lead I emailed someone's blog who might have a possible connection to the story. Like I was seriously going to solve this crime from my computer. It obviously was not a real clue and pretty much a dead end- but hey, I could have solved the crime and would have been a hero. I'm so extremely humiliated. I wish I could take back my email.

Example number three...

Nope. Not going to do it. Not going to share number three. You'll just have to guess.

Sometimes I hate my job.

If you do not have a child with a reading disability you need to thank the Lord. It's the most frustrating problem I have ever encountered. I help children with reading difficulties. Sometimes the despair and frustration is too much. It's overwhelmingly frustrating to see a child struggle with something that is automatic for so many others. It's like watching someone with one leg trying to walk or someone with no hands trying to open a door. It seems absolutely impossible.

I'll admit there are days that stand out as good days. Days where the reading seems fluid, the ideas seem to come together, and the process of learning to read almost realized. Those are the good days. You can see it on their faces. They feel as if they have conquered a giant and are standing proud. Those days I feel privileged to be apart of the process. Those days are like honey. Days like today where a student can't remember the /u/ sound or forgets what a syllable is or just doesn't even care about reading, those days are like poison.

My heart melts and my brain freezes. I feel like a hurdle instead of a help.

Trying hard and now doing

Does it not seem that trying hard is a relative oxymoron. As my buddy Yoda would say from Star Wars. Do or do not- there is no try. Perhaps what I meant in my last post is that being a good mom, wife, etc., are important goals for me. I evaluate how well I do on a daily basis.

I fall far from the mark on most days. Will not bore you with the details but let's just say my tongue moves faster than my brain. My children have heard un-motherly sounding tones come from my mouth and I have rolled my eyes at my husband once too many.

Lately, I've been thinking that the reason I get so frustrated is because there is a gap between 'what I feel should have been achieved' and 'what has been achieved'. The hard part is realizing that what I felt should have been achieved is in no way realistic or possible.

Trying hard

I'm trying hard to stay on schedule. I'm trying hard to stay on budget. I'm trying hard to be a good mom. I'm trying hard to be a good wife.

I'm trying hard not to be negative. I'm trying hard to look at the bright side. I'm trying hard to make good decisions.

I'm trying hard to be organized. I'm trying hard to clean my house properly. I'm trying hard.

Vintage Jewelry

Anyone have any idea where to get vintage jewelry appraised? I finally went through my Mother-in-law's jewelry box. Here are some pretty cool pieces-

Shh! My life is too noisy

Would like to grow... just add quiet reflection

It seems as if God draws me closer to Him through trials. I'd liked to learn how to draw closer to God through quiet reflection and study of His word instead of through trials and tribulation. Do you think that's possible? So many illustrations point to the potter and the work that the potter does. He stretches and shapes the clay with pressure and sometimes has to begin again. Or what about the illustration of iron being sharpened. That in order for the blade to be sharp it has to be heated and shaved. It seems as if there is no easy way to grow. Only through difficult growth can we move forward.

Except, there are people I know who seem to not face any trials. They seem to be growing. They seem to be closer to God than the last time we talked. How is that? I want some of that. Some of that quiet reflection that brings me closer to being like Jesus. I'd prefer not to experience pain though. At least for a year. Let's have this be a pain-free year but still lots of spiritual growth. Do you think that's possible?

2010 January 1st

Well, here we go. The beginning of not only a new year but a new decade. What will this decade bring? At the beginning of this decade we did not have Jackson. We did not have our dog. We didn't even live in this house. We had different cars and went to a different church. We didn't have a teenager in the house.

This blog was non-existent. In fact, I think our email account was relatively new, maybe 2 or 3 years? I had 3 more grandparents than I do now.

I worked full-time and now I stay home with our kids working whenever I want. I didn't have a Master's degree and you could take liquids on an airplane.

I wonder what this new decade will hold. Any ideas? The year will 2020. Lauren will be 23, Emily will be 21 and Jackson will be 15. It's totally possible by the end of this decade we will be grandparents. Mind boggling.